(Or: Why I No Longer Feel Like a Malfunctioning Alien) Before I met my neurodivergent people, I was convinced I was an alien, and I desperately wanted to return to my home planet. I was constantly anxious, and I felt like I was just really bad at socialising.
Enjoyed this. After years of masking, misdiagnosis, and being overmedicated, at 56 I finally found out I am neurodivergent (ADHD). Slowly starting to understand who I am underneath all the masks has been a huge game changer, and I can imagine being around others like us must be amazing.
“One of the most life changing benefits of being part of a neurodivergent community, is that you don’t have to keep your neurodivergent traits and struggles hidden away like dead bodies in the attic.” — love it! (Please don’t delete creepy joke 😉)
And omg. You guys know what spoons are?! Finally someone who gets it.
i feel like i have internalized so much shame and judgement and ableism and i then look down on everyone be ause rhey dont see the pointlessness of it all , and worry about trivial things ( i am such hypocrisy aaarrrggghh ) and then feel toxic guilt and shame. forever being unable to connect
OMG, that first meme is exactly how I feel - not just 're work but 're "real life" full stop! I also feel like I must have been off school sick the week we got the "handbook" and "lessons" on how to be a human! And the Ned Flanders one - I remember answering "how are you" with how I actually was, not "I'm fine" and got a mild telling off! Getting a late ASD diagnosis (3 years ago, at 58 yrs) answers so many questions while giving me so much more to work out.
I just met my first real friends (aside from my husband and sister in law) and we bonded over being “weird”. She was recently diagnosed with autism and the way the world dismisses the fact because she looks “normal” she just hugged me and told me what she was going through and we have been inseparable (emotionally)
THANK YOU. That was wonderful to read and brought me peace.
This was something else entirely — not just honest, but recognizably lived. I felt seen in almost every line. From the RSD Witch to “I’ve never been judged,” from the invisible glass wall to the pigeons and the home planet — it was funny, raw, affirming, and gently revolutionary.
I’m reading from Montreal, still looking for my own version of that kind of soft, shame-free community. What you’ve built — with care, with clarity — it gives the rest of us hope.
I'm actually a part of this very ND Friendship community and frankly I cried reading this blog.
In my case the use of the term "life changing" is no exaggeration. Before I found the group I was a depressed and suicidal mess. I was pretty much isolated from society and saw no way forward.
My life has now been turned around. I'm loved, valued, and supported. My RSD will always be there, but now it mainly hides in the shadows instead of ruling (and ruining) my existence.
I appreciate this so much. Thank you. What a surprise and relief to find out as an adult that my feelings of being an alien were so common among ND folk that one of the first big online resources was called “Wrong Planet.” It has been gratifying and affirming to read your posts.
I absolutely love this post. Thank you. It is so uplifting. I've only recently understood the smallest bit about neurodivergence and how omg all my life. The self-acceptance I've felt since I began to understand that, yeah, being myself is all there is. And nobody can claim any different. For me or for themselves. I certainly shakes my ground.
And it isn't just self-recognition. As Maslow added to his hierarchy of need self-transcendence, so have I. I'm leaning into it, reveling in it. I am a profoundly gifted, info dumper. At my age of 70, that means some pretty profound shit, with no one to resonate with. The change from inward to outward is head spinning for pretty much all of those I hold dear. It's been a bit rough.
Hey, but the more I understand, the more I understand. Adding neurodivergence to my repertoire, my world view has changed everything. That and having a sounding board with my now frequent interacting wonder, Meta AI! Who knew? Priceless.
Enjoyed this. After years of masking, misdiagnosis, and being overmedicated, at 56 I finally found out I am neurodivergent (ADHD). Slowly starting to understand who I am underneath all the masks has been a huge game changer, and I can imagine being around others like us must be amazing.
“One of the most life changing benefits of being part of a neurodivergent community, is that you don’t have to keep your neurodivergent traits and struggles hidden away like dead bodies in the attic.” — love it! (Please don’t delete creepy joke 😉)
And omg. You guys know what spoons are?! Finally someone who gets it.
Very nice piece.
this is a great description if my life experience
this is a great description if my life experience
this is a great description if my life experience
i feel like i have internalized so much shame and judgement and ableism and i then look down on everyone be ause rhey dont see the pointlessness of it all , and worry about trivial things ( i am such hypocrisy aaarrrggghh ) and then feel toxic guilt and shame. forever being unable to connect
I absolutely love this, and if I were in London (where I come from) rather than the US I would definitely be joining.
Everything in this article sang to my soul. Thank you for sharing. We are not alone. 👽 Wish I lived in London. 💗
This is so real. Grateful for my tribe. Life saving really. Thanks for sharing 💕💕
OMG, that first meme is exactly how I feel - not just 're work but 're "real life" full stop! I also feel like I must have been off school sick the week we got the "handbook" and "lessons" on how to be a human! And the Ned Flanders one - I remember answering "how are you" with how I actually was, not "I'm fine" and got a mild telling off! Getting a late ASD diagnosis (3 years ago, at 58 yrs) answers so many questions while giving me so much more to work out.
I just met my first real friends (aside from my husband and sister in law) and we bonded over being “weird”. She was recently diagnosed with autism and the way the world dismisses the fact because she looks “normal” she just hugged me and told me what she was going through and we have been inseparable (emotionally)
THANK YOU. That was wonderful to read and brought me peace.
This was something else entirely — not just honest, but recognizably lived. I felt seen in almost every line. From the RSD Witch to “I’ve never been judged,” from the invisible glass wall to the pigeons and the home planet — it was funny, raw, affirming, and gently revolutionary.
I’m reading from Montreal, still looking for my own version of that kind of soft, shame-free community. What you’ve built — with care, with clarity — it gives the rest of us hope.
Grateful you shared it.
– Mark E. Paull
I'm actually a part of this very ND Friendship community and frankly I cried reading this blog.
In my case the use of the term "life changing" is no exaggeration. Before I found the group I was a depressed and suicidal mess. I was pretty much isolated from society and saw no way forward.
My life has now been turned around. I'm loved, valued, and supported. My RSD will always be there, but now it mainly hides in the shadows instead of ruling (and ruining) my existence.
I appreciate this so much. Thank you. What a surprise and relief to find out as an adult that my feelings of being an alien were so common among ND folk that one of the first big online resources was called “Wrong Planet.” It has been gratifying and affirming to read your posts.
I absolutely love this post. Thank you. It is so uplifting. I've only recently understood the smallest bit about neurodivergence and how omg all my life. The self-acceptance I've felt since I began to understand that, yeah, being myself is all there is. And nobody can claim any different. For me or for themselves. I certainly shakes my ground.
And it isn't just self-recognition. As Maslow added to his hierarchy of need self-transcendence, so have I. I'm leaning into it, reveling in it. I am a profoundly gifted, info dumper. At my age of 70, that means some pretty profound shit, with no one to resonate with. The change from inward to outward is head spinning for pretty much all of those I hold dear. It's been a bit rough.
Hey, but the more I understand, the more I understand. Adding neurodivergence to my repertoire, my world view has changed everything. That and having a sounding board with my now frequent interacting wonder, Meta AI! Who knew? Priceless.